One Easy Method To Determine If You Are Living In A Simulation

Occasionally, we run into people who remind us of someone else. You know you’ve never really met them, even though they look identical to someone else. But it can’t be. The doppelganger you know lives across the country. Or they’re dead. Or they joined that cult group and haven’t been seen outside in over a decade

Jay-Z and a photo from Harlem, 1939

Jay-Z and a photo from Harlem, 1939

Besides, this mysterious identical twin from another mother doesn’t recognize you.

Or do they? It almost seems as if they have stolen a few glances at you too. Like you remind them of someone from their past. If only one of you had the courage to approach.

But you should approach them. I’m going to tell you why? I’m going to give you a method that will prove to you finally if we are living in a simulation.

It’s Dangerous To Go Alone. Take This.

Did you ever play “The Legend of Zelda” on Nintendo? Did you ever wonder if Link, the sword-wielding hero, knew his universe was just a computer-generated simulation? I doubt he did, but he could have figured it out if he thought for a moment.

Everyone Link encountered on his adventure looked just like everyone else, whether they were giving him a magical weapon or trying to sell him a potion.

Sure, maybe they had a different colored tunic, but, for the most part, the people of Hyrule were all the same. They were Xerox-Humans.

This is because a simulation requires so much computer memory to run. Some source code must be repeated. Imagine the memory size of a computer that can generate an entirely original universe that is 14 billion light years across. That would be a god-like machine.

Something must be repeated. Outer space must be mostly empty. Water must all look the same. Some people will be copies of other people. It saves memory.

simulation1Next time you encounter a person who reminds you of someone else, do the following in this order.

  1. Find a notebook and a pen
  2. Approach the Xerox-Human
  3. Ask them the following questions.
    a)   When you were a child, there was a monster under your bed you were terrified of. You were the only person who could see it, smell it, hear it rustling in the dust beneath you at night. What did you name it?
    b)   When you were 12, you wanted to kiss that one kid in your class. You never got the opportunity. You didn’t even know what kissing was. But your heart beat increased when you thought of it. Your chest felt funny. What was the name of that kid’s pet?
    c)   The first time you stole money from your mother, you had to be sneaky. You had to lie; to “act cool” because she was going to discover the heist. Even though she never accused you, she suspected you, secretly. You had to appear extra normal and extra loving and extra obedient for fear she would one day approach you saying, “I’m missing a twenty dollar bill”, and then stare at you silently. What did you purchase with the stolen money?
  4. Write down all of their answers in case you forget and save them for comparison, because when you encounter their doppelganger, you’re going to ask them the exact same questions.

The Logic

If you were going to design an entire universe with living beings filled with sexual hormones and free will, there must be some very specific-yet-mundane details you wouldn’t need to program. You wouldn’t even want to program them. Because no one is ever going to ask about these memories. They were just programmed to give the simulation avatar background and color. But the great coder in the sky didn’t anticipate you, a divergent program capable of pattern recognition and hyper data sleuthing. The great coder could write a big database of memories and then give them to all the models of a particular design. Just like the steering wheels of Chevrolets rolling off the assembly line.

If the answers are the same, voila, the universe is actually in some type of larger computer.

Of course, there is one snag. This person may be off put, or wonder why you’re suddenly asking them so many weird questions.

If this happens, just shout at them “Control! Alt! Delete!” This will temporarily freeze them up as they reboot and you can make your cool exit.

Well done. Life in a simulation is weird.


About Blog Boss

Jim MacKenzie and Sarah Giavedoni are the creators of the blogs Stuff Monsters Like, the Incredible Vanishing Paperweight, and more. When they are not blogging, they are devoted to managing the Asheville Blogger Society, watching movies, running a completely unrelated nonprofit, and making money at their paid employment.
This entry was posted in Cultural Commentary, Futurism and the Tomorrow Mill and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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