I get it. Lie detector tests are bunk science. You can trick one. They detect other indicators of a lie, but they don’t actually detect a lie.
There are volumes written about their usefulness. I’m on the fence too. They can’t be 100% effective, so why even have them? Every person’s reactions to questioning are are unpredictable when hooked to a weird, briefcase-sized graphing machine.
Some psychological journals say lie detector effectiveness is about 20-70%. Other staunch proponents, like police departments, say they are 90% effective.
I have no idea. Enough about their accuracy. This debate has gone on for decades. It will be going on long after I post this.
But I still feel there could be a good use for these devices online.
Put Up Or Shut Up
It’s recently come to my attention that there is a Flat Earth movement online. There is a stupendously small amount of people who profess the world is flat. They say if the rest of us would just open our eyes and look, we would see the evidence for ourselves.
Decades ago, the Flat Earthers would’ve just sat alone in their bedrooms in relative obscurity. Today, the internet has connected them and given them a community and a voice.
I’m not even going to mention the countless reasons why any thinking human can see the Earth is round. And I definitely don’t want to tackle the Flat-Earther claims point by point. You can read them yourself if you’re interested. But I warn you, once you read a few, you’re going to get a migraine at the least.
The sad part is many of these Flat Earthers produce videos and blog posts. They “debunk” the claims of NASA and science, saying the spherical Earth is just a hoax to control the weak minds of the average citizen. Although, not one single purpose comes to mind as to why a government would want its citizens so in the dark about the planet they live upon. But, when you start asking questions of common sense, you’re already outside the realm where Flat Earthers dwell.
People watch these preposterous videos and congratulate their creators in the comments section for helping us see the “truth”. Oh, how our eyes have been blinded by science, the government, and made-up space agencies.
So, here’s my proposal. I’m not actually convinced that all of the Flat Earthers are sincere. I think they’re hoaxing us too.
From now on, Flat Earthers, if you actually want me to listen to your outrageous claims, you need to post a picture of yourself holding the results for your polygraph test. And yes, they need to indicate that some of the questions asked of you were about the Flat Earth, and you better have passed those questions.
Because, let’s face it, anyone can make a YouTube video. The video can be outrageous. It can be full of ignorance and misinformation. But the creator doesn’t have to believe a word of it.
I think the word is “Troll”. These Flat Earthers are trolling us. Don’t engage with them. Don’t encourage them. Don’t dispute their “claims”. Because, they don’t care if they’re right or wrong. They’re looking for reactions. And the more uproarious the critics, the better these trolls feel. Their job is just to rile you. Not inform you.
So, Flat Earthers, if you had any integrity, when you post your next Flat Earth video, you will include a picture of yourself holding your polygraph results.
And if you want to be over the top, post a video of you taking your polygraph with a respected lie detector expert.
If you think a test is too expensive, we’ll crowdfund the payment for you. I’ll even chip in.
I just need to know. ARE YOU FOR REAL?
If you pass, if you sincerely hold these beliefs, if you are truly misguided in your thinking that the Earth is flat, then we can talk. We have something real to debate. I’ll be interested in listening.
But until you prove you’re not a troll, shut the hell up. You’re polluting the internet, the round Earth’s greatest invention, with your ignorant twaddle.
Until then, I’ll remain in orbit.