The Cult of the Nibblers

I’ve personally gotten so much out of blogging and interacting with the brilliant people of the internet. It has edified my life. I felt it was time for me to give back.

I invented a new job for the down economy, for the unemployed, or for the current college students who are studying something they don’t love and are wondering where they will be in a few years.

nibbler3I call the job “Nibbling.”

A “nibble” is a seldom-used tech term that refers to a half byte of information. I am not a mathematician, but I guess that means two nibbles are a byte. And two thousand nibbles are a kilobyte and so on.

A nibble can also be a small taste of something. Food, the neck of your lover, but in this case, it means we are nibbling at our culture.

Information Overload or Entrepreneurial Gold?

Taken from here.

Graph taken from here.

Some recent research numbers suggest the average American consumes about 12 hours of media per day. That’s about 34 gigabytes every 24 hours. That is almost a continuous stream of media every moment we are not working or sleeping. This includes television and movies, printed and written words, music, the internet, news, electronic correspondence, etc. . . .  It’s getting to be almost too much for the average person to keep up with. You need an entire other person to consume the daily-required media dose, just to have some free time in your life when you come home from the office.

Enter the Nibblers. The professional keeper-uppers for hire. People who will consume movies and print and culture for you, all at a half-a-byte at a time. All of your choosing.

0,,15968279_401,00Here’s how it could work. You enter your personal information into a database. Things like your age, work history, political persuasion, if you are family-oriented, a loner, your goals for the future and similar types of information. The computer connects you to a Nibbler similar to yourself in personality and disposition.

Whenever the need arises, you access the Nibbler [probably via text messaging for now], inquiring how you should feel about a certain film, or what your position should be on the current headlines. Within a moment, the answer comes back to you. And you can feel ‘loosely’ informed without the dissatisfaction of not participating. Living your life without sucking at the giant fire hose of megabytes.

This is the perfect antidote to our impending dystopia of drowning in information.

Image taken from here.

Image taken from here.

Please keep this in mind. Nibblers will be the human equivalent to a computer virus. The need for more information and data intake will only increase in the future. And sadly, humans will likely continue processing information the analog way, one word or picture or sound at a time, for the near future.

Thus, Nibblers will soon need their own Nibblers, who may someday require their own Nibblers, and so on, just to keep up.

It’s either a world filled with infinite Nibblers, or we unplug from the machines.

But that last scenario seems so crazy.


About Blog Boss

Jim MacKenzie and Sarah Giavedoni are the creators of the blogs Stuff Monsters Like, the Incredible Vanishing Paperweight, and more. When they are not blogging, they are devoted to managing the Asheville Blogger Society, watching movies, running a completely unrelated nonprofit, and making money at their paid employment.
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