Using An ATM In a One-Government World: We Want New Conspiracy Theories and We Want Them Now

Have you ever read about the Illuminati? How about the Bilderbergs? Or the Council of 13 or The New World Order? If you’ve never heard of these organizations, that is sad, because they are currently ruling the world.

Well, they probably aren’t ruling the world. But many people believe they do. They think a few people raise their hands, make decrees, and the nations of the world follow the whims of a few maniacal rulers.

Does anybody remember when we were told communism was such an effective disease, it would infect the entire world. Soon, everyone would fly the communist flag if we didn’t fight it tooth and nail. After all, Fidel Castro killed Kennedy.

Or how many times has the end of the world been predicted? The signs are all here. Some messiah or deity was coming back to exact their vengeance against the sins of humanity? According to Isaac Asimov’s 1979 “Book of Facts,” humans have been predicting the end of the world since 2,800 B.C.E. The world is still here, yet some humans keep making predictions.

What do all these aforementioned conspiracy theories have in common, besides the fact that they are all dead wrong?

They are all conspiracy theories from times gone by. Ancient times, the cold war, Victorian England. Where are all our new conspiracy theories? Conspiracy theories that reflect our current era.

They would be easy to start. Let me begin.

  • Did you know that three current members of congress are robots?
  • What governments are currently controlled by artificial intelligence?
  • I heard Steve Jobs didn’t die. He just traveled into the future to a time when cancer is eradicated.

Maybe I’m just tired of the old-world list of cracked ideas.

A quick caveat: If one-world government conspiracy theories are true, why do we have to exchange our money to fly to Europe, or Africa? If I were one of the Bilderbergs, and in charge of running the entire world, I would do away with multiple currencies first thing. Otherwise, it’s too hard to track the flow of funds. Francs and Dollars and Pesos and Marks and Euros. Too much math involved.

I dare you to go to an ATM in Saint Louis, Missouri, and demand it gives you Rupees. Just not gonna happen. Sure seems that many currencies equal many governments.

Anyway, the future is now. Many wonderful things are happening everyday. It’s just sad we can’t invent any more unproven arguments to better fit our rapidly changing times.

Get to it. Conspiracy theories of the future aren’t going to invent themselves.

Besides, Steve Jobs is returning any moment from the future with the answers to all of the world’s problems, including cancer.


About Blog Boss

Jim MacKenzie and Sarah Giavedoni are the creators of the blogs Stuff Monsters Like, the Incredible Vanishing Paperweight, and more. When they are not blogging, they are devoted to managing the Asheville Blogger Society, watching movies, running a completely unrelated nonprofit, and making money at their paid employment.
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1 Response to Using An ATM In a One-Government World: We Want New Conspiracy Theories and We Want Them Now

  1. Pingback: Electronic Tracking Of Students – Texas Schools See Big Money « GoodOleWoody's Blog and Website

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